Lost Myself

I have lost myself
In a sudden wave
Like a crystal waterfall
I felt numb
Bored
and Boring
And I saw how I had lost me

My inner eye opened up
To the way I have been
To the fraud I have become
To this life I am half-living
To the lies I have been telling
To the mask I have been hiding behind
To the loss of myself

I am tired of asking 'Who am I?'
I already know
And I know what I'm not
And I know what I have become

I have been trying too hard
I have been in denial
And I have been untrue

My heart aches
From the wasted time
Away from my truth
My eyes prickle with tears
As I vow to forgive myself
For being untrue
My body is asleep
From misuse, and underuse
My mind hurts
From thinking thoughts
That are not mine

I am awakening
In a familar land
Where I recognise my reflection
Where I know who I am
and I live it
Where I stop trying so hard
and just be